Saturday, January 24, 2009

Turned around and upsidedown

So this messed up sleep schedule is driving me nuts.

I fell asleep this morning while the kiddo was watching a movie. I was on the couch and he was happily rolling hotwheels up and down my legs and shoving pretzels into my nose and mouth. It was about as comfortable as using hedge clippers to shave my armpits.

I then managed to get myself together long enough for us to go run some errands as a family and attempt to eat at our favorite Friday night spot Tizley's Europub.

It figured that as soon as we got there David started saying he wanted to go "Nigh Nigh"

He was a bit wiggly, a little loud and a lot frustrating, but we managed to wolf down our food. The hubby then took the kicking and screaming alien pod child to the car while I paid the check.

As I was sitting there all alone waiting for my receipt, I found myself having a tough time holding it together. Lately, I've felt more defeated in the parenting department than a dog whose discovered he can no longer lick his own beans.

It didn't help that upon arriving home, my husband put the kiddo to bed only to find me passed out on the couch with all three cats. This was at 6 p.m. I woke up at midnight and I have yet to go back to sleep - 3:30 a.m.

The past few months I have not been able to get a hold on any form of a normal schedule.

Exercise is a figment of the imagination.

Recent blood tests have revealed not only my cholesterol is high but that my Hashimotos is rearing it's ugly head again to the point they need to raise my dosage back up to where I was when I was pregnant. I'm falling apart.

Take this and add it to the fact that I'm currently searching for other preschool options for the kiddo just in case is making me nuttier than a bunch of drag queens in a thong competition. I'm starting to come to the scary realization that perhaps I will never find anywhere that I feel comfortable or not socialy inept. I think I might have to go join a nunnary.

I just want to be able to buy a ticket back to the land of normal, only I'm out of cash and out of fight.


Bubba & Rye said...

I have been there. Socially, you got to just accept you, and frack 'em to anyone who can't accept you. This is hard!
Gaining back control is hard. I feel like I gained it over summer, and now have lost it again.
I'm going to try to put myself want to join me?

MonsterBug Blankets said...

Moose, I soooo understand the depression. Honestly, the weird sleeping patterns make you more depressed--yet the depression keeps you from sleeping properly--it's a vicious circle. If you can get your sleep regulated somehow, I hope alot of the other will fall into place. Thinking of you! said...

I can't thank of anything to say except that I will be praying and thinking of you.

Just keep keeping on, you only fail when you give up!

terryann said...

I second what creation said... and if you wonder if there is anyone out there worse off than you check out this blog... one of my brat friends...
read the last two.
I also have hashimotos and my dad died right before they found it... I was pregnant also!... but here it is 18 years later and I am doing OK! you can too! sleep, yogurt, prayers, power walking, and a really creative hobby really helps! Love and Prayers sending your way .....