Here are silly annoying things that keep the hamster from calling it quits at night.
Any cup without a lid or sippy attachment would drive me to drink if alcohol didn't make my face resemble that of a puffer fish.
My son is 2 1/2 and can use a fork better than George Hamilton uses self-tanner.
He can run faster than a crowd fleeing a Jessica Simpson concert and climb higher than the Snoop Dogg after a three-day bender.
Yet how is it that I can't get him to drink out of a cup without dumping it down the front of him, or drink out of a straw without deciding it serves a better purpose as a chew toy?
Yep... Laundry is the bane of my existence.
I swear it breeds at night. I swear the socks all line up like little soldiers and decide who will sacrifice themselves in the dryer for the sake of all laundry piles everywhere.
I believe that if I did not do laundry everyday that it would eventually smother me in my sleep.
Forget weapons development by the government. Just find a way to bottle up the stench that my husband and son's feet emit after a day of shoe wearing and we'll have one of the deadliest weapons known to man.
I swear I've seen flies just up and kill themselves versus coming near a pair of my husband's socks.
He once lovingly forgot his gym clothes in the car for two weeks. When he delivered them to me I thought for sure they'd taken on a life of their own. I swear that gym bag smelled worse than a monkey's butt after an all-day rotten banana binge.
That's just wrong.....