Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Spinning around and around....

It's a wonder how I made it through school with honors because I have not been doing very well with my therapy homework this week.

My homework was to try and write everyday..... and almost a week later and I've written squat.

Oh trust me I've had PLENTY to write about. I just haven't found the time or had the brain power to do so.

Over the last two weeks I have had a lot of high and low points in terms of my self-esteem and my overall opinion of myself as a mother. I've second-guessed my tiny desire to have a second child, questioned my commitment to losing weight, and contemplated saying goodbye to Moose Threads.

For those of you that know me the last one was my wake-up call.

For me to want to give up on Moose Threads is like Dolly Parton going in for a breast reduction - somethings not right if you want to say goodbye to the one thing you're known for.

Nothing bad happened to make me feel this way. In fact, I had one of the BEST weeks I've ever had with Moose Threads. Three custom hat orders, a sold applique, two applique inquiries had put me on cloud nine.

It was everything else in my life that was made that cloud evaporate. When I'm stressed the last thing I want to do is crochet and be creative and when your business thrives on that it's not good.

Robert is in what we term refit hell right now at work. It's that lovely month-long turnover period on the sub where long hours are rampant and days off are nonexistent. This in turn has caused a domino effect in our household.

Long hours and no days off = daddy not being home = daddy-obsessed toddler acting out = stressed out mom = rude people = low self esteem and confidence.

Let me break it down for you.

David's finally at an age where he KNOWS when daddy is gone. He KNOWS when he wants daddy and he WILL act out if I can't suddenly produce him like P. Diddy produces bad albums.

This in turn has resulted in my child showing his stubborn streak in the worst way - IN PUBLIC.

During a get-together with his future preschool class, David threw a temper tantrum better than Mariah Carey backstage at the MTV movie awards. He was throwing things, rolling on the floor, pointing, yelling NO! and STOP! When he got into a tiff over a toy and pushed another child I about died.

Where did my cute baby go?

Fast forward a week to yesterday. There we are sitting in one of our favorite coffee places. I think we visit them two to three times a week. Why? Because they have always been kid friendly.

Well.... someone should have told the owner (who is never there) she's viewed as kid-friendly. There I was sitting a a table with a few other moms and their kids. David is in his stroller. He belts out what I deem a "dino roar" I address the problem and he calms down. Five minutes later..... ROAR.

And then it happened.

Faster than Lindsey Lohan on a first date the owner was right next to me and in my face. With her nose just inches from mine she told me that I need to calm my kid down and perhaps leave because she had people working there and he was a distraction.

I was mortified. The place was packed. People were either on computers, cell phones, chatting loudly. Blenders were going. And I was kicked out of a place I've been a steady customer at for a dino ROAR.

I then went next door to perhaps calm myself down with a little yarn therapy.

Forget it. David was not interested in sitting in the stroller. Instead he was throwing a fit because he wanted to push the stroller himself. I then again found myself in a situation where my parenting skills were questioned and a backhanded comment was "mentioned" regarding toddler discipline. Let's just say I didn't stay long enough to take part in that discussion.

If I had I think I would have cried worse than Perez Hilton after a computer crash.

I don't know what's worse, comments made directly to you, or comments made "at" you by way of "topic discussion"

Our day continued with a successful trip to Ms. Liz for a big-boy haircut, but it was only the eye of the storm.

Not even 10 minutes after the haircut I found myself dragging David out of UPS, Moose Threads orders still in hand, because he was not only talking back, but kicking screaming and just downright being defiant.

I promptly got in my car, drove him home and proceeded to just cry. How the heck could I even think about having another child when I couldn't even control the one I did have? How did I become one of THOSE parents. The ones that people smirk at in stores and think "my child would never do that" or "her brat is so spoiled etc."

I've even had someone say once "It's called a spanking lady."

Umm yeah. Live with my child for a while and you'll soon learn that he is very much his father's little boy.

According to my mother in law, Robert was not only curious, strong, indignant and fearless, he also was impossible to dicipline normally.

Timeouts he used to plot his next attack. Spankings he laughed at. If you took a toy away he found some other way to have fun....

Now I know why she said she cried almost her entire pregnancy with my brother-in-law. She was terrified. She could barely handle one Robert, much less another version.

How my husband grew up to be a very well-mannered adult I will never know.

I think call to his mom may be in order....


Beth said...

I know it's hard to believe, and probably not very helpful...but this will end. He'll pass this stage and get to a stage where he lives to please you and hubby. It's not an easy road there though, believe me! You're a great mom, or you wouldn't even be worried about it. I won't say ignore other people's comments, I know that's impossible...but try and remember they are clueless and rude and are not worth your time. {{hugs}} from another toddler's mom. :)

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I think we live in a strange world where people expect little boys to behave like sweet little girls or they are labeled as bad kids or have bad moms. It isn't that simple and I just get so mad at those people throwing in their cheap shots!Hello, anyone heard of a tantrum? I'm pretty sure 2 year olds invented them.

Oh, and spankings? My kids laugh at them too. said...

I love "Clyde the Camel"...very creative!!!! And, I DITTO Beth...this two shall pass and you WILL look back on it a laugh until you cry!!!!!

Another thing to look forward your little "lovey" will have one of his own....and then you will laugh until you cry..HEHEHEHEHE


Emily of Ella-Bear Bowtique said...

It's never easy feeling like "that mom" when you're out in public. I've fallen victim to the same issue time and time again. Hang in there he'll grow out of this stage. You're definately a good mom so don't second guess that. :)

Jessica said...

I have seen you in action and you are a fabulous mom!!! Trust me, all little boys go throug this stage ~ I've got two of 'em (they've given me lots of grey hair ~ you just can't see it 'cause I'm blond!)

I've heard all of the "comments" and while they are hard to ignore, just know that you are doing a fabulous job and raising a very independent child....not a bad thing! :) And yes, it does get easier...SOON!