Monday, July 14, 2008

Moose Musings

Here's another round of stupid thoughts that run through my head.

Strep Throat and air travel don't mix - unless you want to feel like your head is going to pop worse than a zit on Britni Spears bikini line - just don't do it.

How is it that days worth of 2-mile hikes and drinking tons of water makes me gain weight, when mindless junk-food induced eating causes me to lose a few? Maybe I should write a book titled "The iced tea and chocolate covered gummy bears diet - lose 10 pounds in 10 days" Well duh! With that amount of sugar I'd be more wired than a fly drowning in a sea of Red Bull.

Who needs a guard dog when I have the ultimate guard cat.
Kathy Bates character in Misery had nothing on my cat ZZ. I was gone for two weeks and since we've been home, not only does the booger practically try to smother me every second she's sadistically subtle about it.

1. At night she buries her head in the crook of my neck, purring adoringly, only with her little paws on either shoulder- claws out - just barely digging into my skin (Just enough pain to provide a silent warning)

2. If I try to get up and go to the bathroom, she's right there with me, even going as far as getting onto my lap while I'm attempting to do my business. I don't pee well with an audience, especially one that meows during the entire production.

3. If I'm walking down the stairs she's right at my heels. I secretly think she's trying to trip me as payback for being gone so long.

4. A stranger comes to the door she's growling, fur on end before they even reach the front steps

5. If I try to type of check my e-mail she gets either on the keyboard so I can't type. In my face so I can't see or lays on my hand and then gets in my face so I can't do either.

If I go missing interrogate the cat.

Somehow my son had developed more fashion sense than Paris Hilton in a dark closet.
Not only is he obsessed with picking out his own shoes and clothes, half the time he ends up resembling a color-blind Picasso. It sure doesn't match but hey it works right? Or at least that's what I tell myself amid the odd looks.

When I die forget burying me in a coffin. Just wrap me up mummy style in all the yarn I own. Now wouldn't that be a site? Not only would I be recycling but let's face it..... I'm Sicilian and married to a Jew...... CHEAP

Sometimes the best products come from the oddest color choices. The picture I've included is the pair of socks I made for my sister-in-law Tara. She picked this wacky colorway of a nice wool sock yarn from Germany. The company dyes its yarn based on the color patterns of famous painters. This one was an abstract artist. Looking at the skein wound you would never have known they'd much such fun socks.

The other is of my little guy sitting on my parents front porch in the foothills of Amador County. He's watching a group of deer eat on the front lawn as well as a pack of wild turkeys.


terryann said...


Anonymous said...

LOl, as always at your wit! Your descriptions of your cat's behavior is very graphic. I have 3 words for you: Watch Your Back!