Monday, September 8, 2008

Moose MADNESS!!!

People should be thankful I'm a writer.


Because when I'm really really pissed I choose to usually write about it rather than start something in public. My mom just raised me with too many manners....

Here are the few things that make me REALLY mad - they kind that burns a scar into my brain where a once favorable impression of something once was.

1. If you attack my child verbally or physically.
2. If you attack any member of my family verbally or physically.
3. If you go after something I worked hard for.

In the past few months I've dealt with all three of these situations.

I've had my 2 1/2 year old child called a bully
I've had people close to me bad mouthed by other people I thought were close to me.
And just recently I've had someone blatently say they were stealing one of my Moose Threads designs.

Yep, you read that correctly.

This person posted a pic of one of my skorts, noted how beautiful it was and the proceeded to state that they were going to make it for thier "daughter".


This lady was more bold than Rosie O'Donnell sporting a string bikini in a wind storm.

First off lady....

That's great you find inspiration in my work, but don't come out and tell me to my face that you are just going to steal the design.

If you like it so much just buy it.

You sell items in the same genre. I'm not stupid.

At first when I read that I thought my boiling anger was a result of having PMS without an accessible chocolate source nearby. When I have a chocolate craving I'm like Janice Dickenson looking for a shot of Botox. I need my fix or else I'll start to fall apart.

But then... after scarfing down a bowl of Coco Puffs.... the blood and sugar began to return to my brain.

I started to think I was overreacting. I started to wonder if my eyes has deceived me, that in fact I didn't read what I thought I did.

But after I checked with a few of my fellow Homefronters they confirmed I wasn't nuttier than a bunch of drag queens in a thong competition.

It just goes to show you that you never know what type of characters you'll meet in life....

Moose Musings

It's time for another random list of things that plague my mind.....

Mexican food and two-year-olds don't mix.
Not only does David go nuts and try to cram chips into the salsa bowl faster than a chubby kid eating cheetos, he only likes one thing.


He loves loves loves the marinated chicken that goes inside all the items that call for it. I've finally learned to just order him some on the side instead of participating in the tortilla frisbee Olympics.

The only problem is, this type of chicken causes my son to have more gas than the Hindenburg.

The rest of the day the poor kid sounded like I shoved bubble wrap up his ass.

Now that I've fully entered the toddler wars I've decided who I want to be my general.

My friend Jessica is amazing. Not only did this woman manage to wade through JoAnn's fabrics with me on a day when it was more crowded than Pamela Anderson's bra cups, she did so with two toddlers in tow.

Imagine David times two.
Yep, she is super woman. Not once did she have to raise her voice, threaten bodily harm or drag them out of the store. Instead, she showed me what type of mom I would like to be - especially in public.

Daddy adoration is cute at first when you have a toddler. But when that adoration turns into "cant-sleep-unless-I'm -snuggling-with-daddy-in-mommy-and-daddy's-bed" it becomes more annoying than Jessica Simpson.

The past few nights David has been unable to go to sleep unless he is snuggled up on his daddy. Unfortunatly, this means mommy has been banished to a tiny sliver of bed, that my my pinkie toe barely fits on, much less my ginormous tush.

I woke up this morning unable to feel my arms (since I was sleeping on them) and needing to pee like a racehorse whose weiner's been taped to his leg.

I swear my husband must have thought I was having a seizure as I sat there trying to get my pants off to do my business.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

They all filter through

If there is one thing I have noticed during the past few months of this emotional roller coaster ride, it is that true friends float to the surface during times of turmoil, while others just sink, never to be heard from again.

I am by no means perfect or easy to deal with in general - especially right now.

When you look at the past two years of my life, mentally I have dealt with more drama than an episode of 90210.

I'm tired of rearranging my life for other people because "it's the right thing to do."
I'm tired of listening and supporting other people, only to not have the sentiment returned.
I'm tired of holding in my feelings.
I'm tired being dammed for holding those feeling in and then dammed for letting those feelings out.

All in all I'm just plain tired.

Thankfully what has kept me going recently have been little things.

A phone call from a person I admire and respect. Someone who I feel really listens to me instead of pumps me for gossip.

A playdate with another person who always knows how to make me feel normal and squash my fears of being a bad parent.

A lunch date with an amazing person who not only gets me, but truly makes me feel better about myself.

An e-mail from a person who understands my craving for yarn and my passion for finding a balance between sanity and social acceptance.

And then of course there were the unexpected get-togethers with the one person who gets my situation - being a submariner's wife. This person I can not only talk to, but can depend on for a swift kick in my expanding rear when times get tough.

These things are what made me realize that I don't need to be part of a "social" posse" that can rival Mariah Carey's makeup crew. Instead, all I need are a small group of friends I can connect with in whatever way we choose.

Friendship is about being there for someone, not being with someone.

Now if only I can remember to remind myself of that when times get tough....

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Spinning around and around....

It's a wonder how I made it through school with honors because I have not been doing very well with my therapy homework this week.

My homework was to try and write everyday..... and almost a week later and I've written squat.

Oh trust me I've had PLENTY to write about. I just haven't found the time or had the brain power to do so.

Over the last two weeks I have had a lot of high and low points in terms of my self-esteem and my overall opinion of myself as a mother. I've second-guessed my tiny desire to have a second child, questioned my commitment to losing weight, and contemplated saying goodbye to Moose Threads.

For those of you that know me the last one was my wake-up call.

For me to want to give up on Moose Threads is like Dolly Parton going in for a breast reduction - somethings not right if you want to say goodbye to the one thing you're known for.

Nothing bad happened to make me feel this way. In fact, I had one of the BEST weeks I've ever had with Moose Threads. Three custom hat orders, a sold applique, two applique inquiries had put me on cloud nine.

It was everything else in my life that was made that cloud evaporate. When I'm stressed the last thing I want to do is crochet and be creative and when your business thrives on that it's not good.

Robert is in what we term refit hell right now at work. It's that lovely month-long turnover period on the sub where long hours are rampant and days off are nonexistent. This in turn has caused a domino effect in our household.

Long hours and no days off = daddy not being home = daddy-obsessed toddler acting out = stressed out mom = rude people = low self esteem and confidence.

Let me break it down for you.

David's finally at an age where he KNOWS when daddy is gone. He KNOWS when he wants daddy and he WILL act out if I can't suddenly produce him like P. Diddy produces bad albums.

This in turn has resulted in my child showing his stubborn streak in the worst way - IN PUBLIC.

During a get-together with his future preschool class, David threw a temper tantrum better than Mariah Carey backstage at the MTV movie awards. He was throwing things, rolling on the floor, pointing, yelling NO! and STOP! When he got into a tiff over a toy and pushed another child I about died.

Where did my cute baby go?

Fast forward a week to yesterday. There we are sitting in one of our favorite coffee places. I think we visit them two to three times a week. Why? Because they have always been kid friendly.

Well.... someone should have told the owner (who is never there) she's viewed as kid-friendly. There I was sitting a a table with a few other moms and their kids. David is in his stroller. He belts out what I deem a "dino roar" I address the problem and he calms down. Five minutes later..... ROAR.

And then it happened.

Faster than Lindsey Lohan on a first date the owner was right next to me and in my face. With her nose just inches from mine she told me that I need to calm my kid down and perhaps leave because she had people working there and he was a distraction.

I was mortified. The place was packed. People were either on computers, cell phones, chatting loudly. Blenders were going. And I was kicked out of a place I've been a steady customer at for a dino ROAR.

I then went next door to perhaps calm myself down with a little yarn therapy.

Forget it. David was not interested in sitting in the stroller. Instead he was throwing a fit because he wanted to push the stroller himself. I then again found myself in a situation where my parenting skills were questioned and a backhanded comment was "mentioned" regarding toddler discipline. Let's just say I didn't stay long enough to take part in that discussion.

If I had I think I would have cried worse than Perez Hilton after a computer crash.

I don't know what's worse, comments made directly to you, or comments made "at" you by way of "topic discussion"

Our day continued with a successful trip to Ms. Liz for a big-boy haircut, but it was only the eye of the storm.

Not even 10 minutes after the haircut I found myself dragging David out of UPS, Moose Threads orders still in hand, because he was not only talking back, but kicking screaming and just downright being defiant.

I promptly got in my car, drove him home and proceeded to just cry. How the heck could I even think about having another child when I couldn't even control the one I did have? How did I become one of THOSE parents. The ones that people smirk at in stores and think "my child would never do that" or "her brat is so spoiled etc."

I've even had someone say once "It's called a spanking lady."

Umm yeah. Live with my child for a while and you'll soon learn that he is very much his father's little boy.

According to my mother in law, Robert was not only curious, strong, indignant and fearless, he also was impossible to dicipline normally.

Timeouts he used to plot his next attack. Spankings he laughed at. If you took a toy away he found some other way to have fun....

Now I know why she said she cried almost her entire pregnancy with my brother-in-law. She was terrified. She could barely handle one Robert, much less another version.

How my husband grew up to be a very well-mannered adult I will never know.

I think call to his mom may be in order....